Life Is Like a Box Of Chocolates...


Why Incredibly Competent Women Fall Apart In Relationship

Needy WomanAre you horrified at how quickly your solid foundation can get rocked when you enter into a romantic relationship?

It’s Not Your Fault!

As a coach, I’ve worked with so many self-assured women over the years who are generally successes in life, but who just fall apart when it comes to dating.  It’s frustrating how this one aspect of their life has eluded them.  What they don’t realize is that it’s not their fault – it’s their programming.

Cultural Programming Is Working Against You
As children, we are bombarded with the messages that "Prince Charming" will come and save us from our fate.  Do you need saving?  I don’t.  And yet we look for it.  And then there's the "you complete me" message which is even worse, implying that we aren't complete on our own.  This message sets up a dynamic that creates neediness and a constant fear that the only person in the world who completes us might leave - and then where would we be?  

Going “All In”
Once in the relationship, we are encouraged to go "all in" and lose ourselves in the relationship.  This is what happens when your best friend suddenly forgets your phone number because she's spending every waking moment with her new boyfriend; and what happens when every invitation you make to her suddenly includes him (or her – lesbians are not immune to this programming).

Everything we say or do is now measured up against how it will impact the relationship.  We change our self-definition to include our partner.  The minute we think something might be going somewhere, the mindset shifts and suddenly we're in "The We Zone".

If you've ever found yourself behaving like a crazy person around your relationships
rather than the strong, independent woman you know yourself to be,
it's because you've entered "The We Zone".  

Symptoms of "The We Zone"

  • Reduced sense of self (because it is overshadowed by the other)
  • A fear of loss (because this is the ONLY person who can complete you or the ONLY person who will ever love you in this way)
  • Neediness (because you have given your power to the other person or the relationship, rather than holding it yourself)
  • Panic and jealousy when your partner talks to other women
  • Failing to speak your truth for fear of losing the relationship

The severity of the symptoms vary from person to person, but unless you’ve done a lot of work on yourself around relationships, it’s likely that you have some form of this women’s dis-empowerment virus – we are culturally programmed for it.

Do you want to know EXACTLY what is creating this situation for yourself again and again?  If so, I would like to offer you a FREE 30 Minute Energy Scan.  During this Energy Scan, you will know what it is inside of you that creates these symptoms and gain insight on what is needed to shift it permanently.




If you enjoy my posts, you'll love my products at  Thanks for reading!

Kelle Sparta
Thought Alchemist

Comment balloon 24 commentsKelle Sparta • September 13 2012 10:06AM
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