Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a personal growth junkie. Personally, I like to refer to myself as a Spiritual Masochist - if it hurts and I know that walking through it will make me a better person, well then - sign me up! And even so, with all the workshops I've attended, all the books I've read, and all the personal work I've done, real estate is still the single most effective thing I've ever done to grow as a person.
Why is this? I think it's pretty simple. In real estate we rely on our relationships to make our living. Unlike in many other professions, our personal flaws can mean the difference between living on the top or living on Top Ramen.
When I started in real estate, I was 23 and I really was the tactless wonder. I could not comprehend why it made a difference how you said things so long as you said them. I spoke my mind without thought to the consequences and the more I could shock people, the happier I was. Wow - talk about a recipe for disaster. It's a miracle I made it at all. But the fact is that I sold 25 houses that first year in the business. I think my lack of finesse actually worked for me. People knew that they were getting exactly what they were seeing - nothing hidden, even if it was a little rough around the edges.
The problem was that I wasn't doing well with the tight-knit real estate community in my area. I was burning bridges and raising hackles at every possible opportunity. And, by the end of the first year, it was starting to come back and bite me in the butt. I was getting attitude from agents, having difficulty getting my calls returned, and generally feeling less than welcome in the community. And it was all my own fault.
Now, at this point, I could have continued to barrel along doing what I was doing and let everyone hate me for it. But I realized that my ability to negotiate on behalf of my clients was being jeopardized and my perfectionistic streak wouldn't allow that to happen. So I changed - I grew.
I learned the value of tact. I learned that how I said things DID matter. And I started to practice more effective communication with my clients and with other agents. And, no matter how stupid the thing was that the agent on the other end of the deal did, I did NOT call him a moron.
And thus, my business improved. I found that these skills even helped me to negotiate better with my clients and get more clients to sign on with me. And, for the first time in my life, I turned down my personality enough to hear the other person talking. It was amazing.
The next things on my list were boundaries and self respect. I had to learn how to set limits on how much time I would spend with people who were never going to work with me. I had to learn to say "no". I came to realize that what I had to offer was of value and that I should be paid for it. I learned to not cut my commission, to not let sellers' pick my pockets during the deal or at closing, and to fire clients who didn't respect my time. All revolutionary events for me.
I could go on and on about how I had to grow or evolve to continue to do well in this business. The fact that my income was tied to each item was a constant motivator. It kept me on track in my personal growth process and, after a while, continual growth became a habit.
And then there was the unintended consequence. As I grew to improve my business, my life did better as well. I started to like myself and other people more. I took things less personally. I found more to be happy about in the world around me. I began to enjoy my life - really enjoy it. And today I can say that I am truly happy. Oh, don't get me wrong - I'm still growing. But that's part of what makes me happy these days. It's that sense of accomplishment, the ability to look back in time and see how far I've come.
So here's my question for you. When was the last time you looked at yourself to see what it is about you that might be limiting your ability to do better in your life and your business? What did you find?
Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry. Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love. For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta.