One of the biggest challenges facing America today is the muddled gender roles that we’ve created.  Wait – that’s not really right.  The muddled gender roles aren’t the root issue.  The root issue is the inability and outright social unacceptability of creating your own role regardless of gender.

History of Gender In America
Let’s take a look at the past.  Gender roles have been pretty consistent in American culture for the entirety of the history of our country until the 1950’s.  Sure, there was an evolution of freedom and power that started earlier, but the roles themselves were still clearly defined.  The woman stayed home and took care of the children and the man was responsible for providing for the financial and physical well-being of the family.  Women’s jobs were to be the guardian of the relationships – men to be the guardian of the body/space/home.  All of this stayed relatively stable from 1776 – 1950, and then the 60’s happened. 

The 1960’s and Beyond
With the sixties came free love, war protests, and women in the workplace.  (Well, to be fair, the “women in the workplace” seed was sown in the 1940’s with Rosie the Riveter and the war efforts.)  The seventies brought the Enjolie woman who could “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man.” The 80’s ramped that Pollyannaish image up into a frenzy with the Yuppie craze and the image of the Supermom.  And, now, finally in the first decade of the new millennium, we’re beginning to get realistic about what women can accomplish in a day without going completely insane. 

Where Are The Men?
You’ll notice that I keep talking about women’s gender roles.  This is because women’s gender roles are easy to track – we’ve been talking about them for more than a generation.  But men’s roles have been shifting too and in remarkably undefined ways.  Men have been shifting in relation to women, but no one has given them direction about how they are to change.  Men have gone from being the “man of the house” responsible for everything, to being expected to take a back seat to Supermom, to being required to participate as a full partner these days.  If I were a man, I’d have major whiplash by now. 

Balancing The Scales
This process of women going from being subservient to being expected to be all-powerful, and then finding balance in the middle point is a classic process of change in any scenario where a change of mindset is required.  We often swing to the opposite extreme before settling into a comfortable mid-point, just to allow ourselves to get our brains fully around both ends of the spectrum before we find a happy medium.

The Breakdown of Gender Roles
The challenge with this breakdown of gender roles is that many people in every generation have defined themselves strongly by their gender and this self-definition gave them at least part of their sense of purpose in the world.  Those who didn’t want to explore a personal sense of purpose could at least buy into a gender purpose.  But with the breakdown of those roles today, we are being forced to take on more responsibility for crafting our lives and our purpose in those lives.

No Education in Self-Definition
As I spoke about in Part III, we aren’t taught many of the basic skills required for critical thinking in school, and this includes any education on self-definition or the creation of one’s life purpose.  In fact, the only people who learn anything about these skills in the traditional education system are people who study psychology – and they learn it not from a personal perspective but from a perspective of understanding others.  So how is it that we as a culture expect our citizens to be able to formulate their own self-definition when no one has given us the tools to do so? 

Lost and Alone
So what is left is a bunch of people foundering in a morass of expectations without definition, each one feeling that their experience is unique and they are in some way defective in not being able to figure out why they feel something is inherently missing in their lives.  They feel out of control, lost, and alone – abandoned by their archetypal parent who has failed to help them define this area of their lives.  This is the environment in which fear and anger blossom. 

The Solution
So, what is to be done?  We are in a world where gender roles have broken down.  In my opinion, this is a blessing.  It provides a freedom of choice for both genders that has not existed in the past.  But It is hard to choose when you don’t even know what your options are or how to define them.  What we need now is some education on how to think and on what the possibilities and options are for the choices around who we want to be in the world now that we do have a choice.  This means teaching people how to get to know themselves better.  Perhaps, once we do this, we will find it easier to create a culture that takes responsibility for itself and for the effects that its choices have had on the environment and the world.

A Macro Look at the World:  Part I – Revisioning Business

A Macro Look at the World:  Part II – A Return to Tribalism in America

A Macro Look at the World:  Part III – Think, People!  Figure It Out!

What’s Wrong With The World Today?
The world is changing rapidly.  The technologically, the last 100 years have seen more change than the last 1000 years before it.  Mindsets within an established governmental structure are shifting faster than ever before in history.  The ability to adapt has never been more important than in today’s world. 

Stress Levels Are Through The Roof
And with any need to adapt comes the inherent stress of that change on the body.  We are seeing higher obesity rates (linked to stress through higher production of cortisol which causes weight gain), higher rates of heart disease, and higher rates of depression as well as anxiety-related disorders. 

Out of Control
The world feels out of control and to the average person, it feels as though we are powerless to change it.  Part of this sense of helplessness comes from the fact that we are taught to accept the things we are told, pretty much on faith.  We are not taught to question our assumptions or to think for ourselves.

We Don’t Learn How To Think
Our basic education system is designed to create a mindset of conformity and structure and to teach us to “follow the rules”.  It is not designed to teach us to think.  For that skill, you have to go to college.  Why?  Because if you think for yourself, you might disagree with the people in charge and that makes you hard to control.  The problem with this is that in today’s culture, our children are getting the message to question and indeed to challenge authority through music, television, video games and other popular culture mediums – and they are getting this message in the absence of any education on how to think for themselves.  This is a very dangerous combination.

Manipulation by Fear and Anger
What happens when people don’t learn to think and are encouraged to blindly defy authority is that they are easily swayed by anger and fear mongering.  A thoughtful person, for instance, would realize that there is no reason for the Homeland Security Threat Alerts except to control the level of fear in the average person on the street.  When people are afraid, they are more compliant with authority – looking to it as a parent that is supposed to take care of them.  When people are thoughtful, they might want to know why the terrorists hate us in the first place (a question I waited to be asked and answered after the 9/11 attacks which never was). 

Many People Refuse To Engage Their Brains
Yes, we’re not taught to think.  But even to the extent that most people are capable of engaging, many refuse to do so.  Part of this, in my opinion, is the result of 50 years of television.  We have trained ourselves that when we are not at work and expected to be thoughtful, that we turn our brains off by watching the pablum put out by the majority of Hollywood.  This doesn’t serve us. 

Engage Your Brain and Take Control of Your Life
It is only through critical thought and true reflection that we have the ability to change.  And it is only through changing ourselves that we can hope to create change in our circumstances.  In the challenging economic climate, it is a world of innovate or die.  If we don’t learn to stop blindly following the crowd and instead start to forge a new path for ourselves - one made with conscious choice based on consider thought – we as a culture will find ourselves looking back several years from now wondering “what happened?”

A Macro Look at the World:  Part I – Revisioning Business

A Macro Look at the World:  Part II – A Return to Tribalism in America

Don't tell me that you don't have enough money and time to get the training, marketing, and coaching you need to get your business running again. You don't have the luxury to NOT do it.

Are You Taking The Ostrich Approach?
I keep talking to brokers and agents who feel like the solution to the current market challenges is to hide their heads in the sands, conserve their resources, cut their expenses and wait for it to pass.  And, if you've got enough put aside to last you a few more years, this approach might work, but you may also find that when you take your head out of the sandbar you've had it stuck in, that the world around you has left you behind.

Hunkering Down & Doing Nothing In This Market is Like Running Downhill Backwards: you're falling further behind and you're in serious danger of tumbling into bankruptcy. 

I've Got To Pay The Rent!
I've got news for you.  If you can't pay the rent, then you're already out of the business - you just don't know it yet.  If you're attached to staying in, then I suggest a part-time job to make ends meet until you get your act together again.  You're not going to make a sale anyway when you're in this headset - the clients will smell the fear and desperation on you and they will go elsewhere.  

Going Back To Basics
If you're like me and you've been in the business for a while, then you know that the mantra of the industry when times get tough is to go "back to the basics".  And, yes, the basics of prospecting, talking to people, doing regular marketing, etc. are still valid ways to get business.  But in today's market, they are just not enough. 

Get Onto The Web
If you haven't figured out how to use social media and internet marketing techniques for your business yet, then get on it!  This is THE WAY that buyers find houses today.  If you're not fluent in the jargon of the web, then you're a dinosaur waiting for extinction.  You need training in good web design, SEO (Search Engine Optimization), SEM (Search Engine Marketing), and Social Media.  You probably could also use a refresher course in writing good marketing copy for the web (it's not the same as print).  If you're looking for a good book on the subject, check out Web Copy That Sells - The Revolutionary Formula for Creating Killer Copy Every Time by Maria Veloso

Get Specialized Knowledge and Be Timely
Get out and learn more about the market today.  Read everything you can get your hands on.  Then write about it to your clients, prospects, on your blog, etc.  The more it seems clear to the people who are watching you that you are an expert on the current market conditions, the more likely it will be that people will choose to work with you.

You've Got To Spend Money To Make Money
You're going to have to learn new skills and that means training.  You're going to have to enter new markets and that means marketing.  You're going to have to get onto the web and that means paying for some tools.  If you turn off the dollars going out, your turn off the dollars coming in too.  Don't make this common mistake!

Yesterday, Inman News sent out a request for articles surrounding the idea of changing the way we are compensated.  I spent the morning thinking about a fee for service model and what it would mean to the industry.  I ended up with a more than 2200 word article which I submitted to them.  They published it today.  Here's is the article in its entirety (since it has gone beyond the veil of the premium service listing).

A fee-for-service future

Perspective: The ups and downs of fee-based real estate

In 1995 I was taking retainer fees from buyers who wanted to work with me. Those fees either went toward their deposit on a home or it went into my pocket if they didn't purchase.

Over the course of the next three years, that fee went from $100 to $250 to $500 to finally $1,000 as I had to retain the deposit from each person who walked away. I had started to realize how much of the work I did took place up front and how much time I was losing every time I lost a buyer.

So when the idea of a fee-for-service model crossed my desk a few years ago, I wasn't surprised. It made sense, but I didn't think it was in the best interests of the client. After all, the most valuable services that the best agents provide to their clients aren't really something you can easily set a price tag on.

Those services offer the peace of mind that comes from knowing everything is handled. A skilled facilitator can get you unstuck by walking you through an emotional challenge that is getting in the way of your sale. Those are the services that people miss out on because they are already too stuck in their own issues to think to ask for help, much less be willing to pay for it.

But aside from that challenge, there are many benefits to a fee-for-service model:

Comparative market analysis (CMA). Well, we can let this one go entirely, since in most states the appraisal lobby would have us roasted on spits if we did a CMA for money. So this would instead become a marketability report.

Showings. This would be a boon for the industry, agents and buyers alike, but it's a challenge to determine how to compensate for the results you want. A skilled showing agent, who knows the market and listens carefully to the buyers, would be able to add value to buyers who are willing to accept it by reducing the number of showings needed to find the right house.

The downside is that if the agent is paid only by the showing then there is no motivation to show the good properties first. To counteract this effect there should be some bonus to the agent, based on which house the buyers pick, that encourages the agent to show the best house first.

Who pays? The cost of the showings should be split between the buyer and seller since both derive a potential benefit from it. The existing appointment-setting services would do well for the facilitation of appointments. They could even increase their rates since they could charge per appointment set. The downside of sharing the cost of the showings would be sellers trying to show their own houses and botching up the job or severely limiting the availability of the house to be shown.

Marketability Report – indicating a combination of factors which would include price, location, condition, staging, etc.  This report, if taken seriously by the client (and that’s a big “if” – although if they were paying for it perhaps they would pay more attention to it) would serve to encourage sellers to improve their properties and have a professional stage them.  This would result in higher sales prices – a good thing for the consumer.

Marketing/Advertising – This one is trickier.  Especially in an era of blogging, podcasts and other social media venues, how does an agent set a fee for this type of exposure?  And do we end up with agents who become experts in key word research for properties, or is this something we subcontract out of the industry?  And, of course, we’ll need good copywriters who are familiar with the fair housing rules and regulations.  Perhaps we’ll end up with real estate media buyers and marketing agencies.  Regardless of how it shakes out, as with most marketing, finding the right way to spend your money is the challenge.  This is where I see the greatest potential pitfall for clients.  Perhaps the solution here is also to bonus the marketing agency based on speed of sale. 

Potential Profits for Agents:  The good news is that there is potential for these real estate ad agencies to pay agents for ads on their blogs, podcasts, newsletters, etc.  This would allow agents to even out their income and scale their efforts more effectively.

MLS – Fee for entry on everything.  Sellers will write their own copy (or hopefully hire a copywriter) and provide their own pictures. 

Negotiations
This is the place where I see the greatest potential for improvement in the industry.  The average agent today is a terrible negotiator.  There is NO training on it.  Those who become skilled at it do so because they sought out their own training.  Paid negotiators, who have bonuses based on how much they can get over/under the average list/sale price ratio for their market would be a boon for the industry – and for the clients.

Closing Coordination
REVA (Real Estate Virtual Assistants) would do well with this one.  Clients could hire the virtual assistants directly to facilitate their closing, coordinating all of the details of the transaction.  The closing attorney or title company would be responsible for creating a checklist of items to be completed to make sure that nothing got missed.

The Downside For The Customer
Notice I said “customer”.  I don’t believe that any of the services I have laid out above would be sufficient to constitute agency.  Confidentiality could be contracted for within the hiring contract.  Being that sellers may be doing their own showings, the duty of disclosure would have to fall on them instead of the agents.  Loyalty isn’t required when compensation is based upon results.  Since the customer is handling their own transaction and is able to interface directly with the person on the other side of the transaction, there is no need to worry about obedience to lawful orders (except perhaps in the role of negotiator).  If the customer is handling their own transactional details, then the duty of accounting would fall on the attorney or title company doing the closing, not on the agent.  And reasonable care would be assumed to be in place given the fact that the customer has hired the agent (or perhaps I should say facilitator at this point).  In short, the customer loses out on her ability to be fully represented in the transaction.  Given that this is the largest financial investment that most people make, I’m not certain that this is a good thing.

The Downside for the Agent
Most state laws have a ruling that the expectation of the customer determines the relationship with the agent unless a disclosure to the contrary has been signed.  And, even then, if there is sufficient action on the part of the agent to behave as an agent, they are on the hook for it – regardless of the disclosures signed.  With agents being in the habit of representing clients, and the public being used to being represented, I think we will have a host of lawsuits and the agents will not fair well.  Then there’s also the issue of the degradation of the level of service agents provide.  Part of the reason we can command high prices is that we are seen as professionals.  If we are relegated to the role of chauffeur are we really doing ourselves a service?

The Bigger Picture Downside
As any agent can tell you, too many cooks spoil the soup – and slow down the transaction.  The more moving pieces you have, the greater the chance that something will go horribly wrong.  In the example I’ve set forth, the only person looking out over the entire transaction is the customer – who in most cases doesn’t know all of what needs to be done.  This is the biggest problem I see.  Things are going to get missed.  Attorneys and title companies are going to have to take a larger role to make sure that all the bases are covered.  And, frankly, they are often the largest barriers to a transaction closing, so this doesn’t bode well.

Inequality of Cost and Income – A.K.A. It Pays to Be Rich
Sadly, this new model means moving away from the current model which allows people from all levels of income to have the same services.  Under the new model, we’ll be seeing a lot of the lower income people getting fewer services to save expense.  The problem with that is that sometimes the expense they save on the back end will cost them big on the front end in the form of not getting a better house because they weren’t willing to pay a few more dollars to see a few more houses, or not getting a better deal on the house because they skimped on the negotiator.  Those with the cash to do so are the ones likely to purchase a full-service model and get complete coverage.  Once again relegating the poorer people into the lesser served arena. 

Cash Flow Challenges
There is also the challenge of coming up with the cash.  Most sellers don’t have a lot of extra cash sitting around to pay up front to cover the costs of the transaction.  And, without the control over whether the deal closes or not, most agents aren’t going to be willing to work on contingency.  Add to this the fact that most distressed sales take a huge amount more work and thus will cost more when there is less money available to pay for it and we’re going to have an inherent cash flow issue that will need to be addressed as well.

The Upside for the Customer
Buyers and sellers will be able to pay only for what they need.  So, for instance, my friend C.C. Chapman, who did a lot of his own advertising when he sold his house a couple of years ago (not surprising given that he runs an advertising agency), wouldn’t have to pay nearly as much as he did under a traditional model.  And if someone works from home and doesn’t mind doing their own showings, they can save too.  Plus, there will be the added benefit of getting specialists who excel in their field – expert negotiators for example, or professional marketers. 

The Upside For The Agent

• Agents would see a higher hourly rate using this model.  Since much of the average agent’s efforts are lost in endless showings and dealing with people who aren’t serious (issues that this model would eliminate), they would reduce their time spent working, increase their quality of life, and increase their income. 
• Today’s agents have to be a little bit of everything to everyone – they have to master a TON of skills.  Tomorrow’s agents can be really good at a few things instead. 
• Most of the skills listed above don’t require being available 24/7, so a more reasonable and measured work week would be possible.
• With the new model, there will be the opportunity for additional outcroppings of products (like “How to Do Your Own Neighborhood Research”, or “Negotiation 101” courses) that could save customers more money and increase the scalability of being an agent.

The Big Picture Upside
The industry gets more specialists and hopefully begins to get a higher level of respect from the community at large.  And, using this model, agents or agencies will likely have to work in a team structure so that the rainmaking can be shared amongst all parties.  This should help to equalize the income for all of the agents and allow for vacations and economies of scale for marketing efforts.

There is certainly a place for the fee-for-service agent in the world.  Is it a good change that the entire industry should embrace?  The jury is still out in my opinion.  There are too many factors that could affect the whole and there’s no way to tell which way they will fall.  This is just the briefest look into what COULD happen. 

But it’s intriguing isn’t it?  Think about it: charging for your services.  Not driving uncommitted people around, losing deals you’ve worked months on, paying for advertising on a listing you know isn’t going to sell – all of these things would be a thing of the past.  It has its appeal.

Smorgasbord for Lunch
I'm getting ready to head down to Florida on Monday evening, so today my sweetie and I sat down to eat everything in the refrigerator that would go bad while we were gone.  In short - we had a smorgasbord.  It was a totally unbalanced meal.  It was the leftovers of everything we hadn't eaten all week: some leftover Chinese food, some red sauce with meat, a few stuffed grape leaves, and a whole lot of cole slaw.  And I loved it.  Why?  Because it was something new and different in every bite.  It spoke to my ADD hedonisitc soul. 

And Then I Started Thinking
This is how a lot of agents do their marketing.  They take a little from here and a little from there and then they shake it up completely by doing something utterly different (even if the other stuff was working) because they were bored with it.  Let's face it, as a group we're an ADD crowd.  We like variety.  We like change (if it's our idea).  Honestly, we have the attention span of a gnat. 

How Coherent Is Your Message?
The problem is that the message that our prospects and clients get from all of this constant shifting is unfocused and incoherent.  They get a little bit of humor, a little bit of earnestness, a little bit of "look at me!" and God knows what else.  Is this really what you want to be telling your prospects (that you're all over the place)?

What The Pros Do
People ask me all the time what the top producers that I coach do to be so successful.  The answer is this:  they find what works and then do the same thing over and over again until it stops working.  When they see the need to change and innovate, they do - quickly.  And then they test to see what works best.  And then they do that over and over again until it stops working.  See the pattern?

Consistency of Message
There is one thing that I can say is consistent with all top producers:  they have a consistent message and they deliver it consistently.  You won't see a top producer who sends out newsletters when they aren't busy.  (They are always busy because their marketing is not dependent upon their ability to get it done - they outsource it.)  You also won't see a top producer who says that they specialize in 50 markets or are available 24/7.  They have a niche and they work that niche.  They stand for something. 

What Do You Stand For?
If I took a poll of your clients and prospects tomorrow, would they know what you stand for?  Really.  Honestly.  Would they?  If not, then you have some work to do cleaning up your message and your brand image. 

What Kind of Lunch Will You Be Having Tomorrow?
So, what's it going to be?  Will you be cleaning out the refrigerator tomorrow?  Or are you going to craft a gourmet meal that anyone would be lucky to eat?  The choice is yours.

(This article was published in RIS Media this morning, but without the links.  Thought you'd like the links to get places.)

8 News Ways to Get Leads

I decided that this week the best thing I could do for you would be to offer you new ways to acquire leads.  Hopefully, you'll get at least one new idea from this article to help your business.

ActiveRain
If you're blogging, then kudos for you!  But are you getting the most you can out of your blogging?  There are benefits to where you blog.  Blogging on your own site is great for SEO, but it won't necessarily get you the greatest number of qualified hits.  I spoke with Brad Andersohn at Active Rain recently and he told me that they are the top ranked social media site after Facebook.  Can you imagine?  That means that there's TONS of people on the site.  They have over 125,000 members already and it's all about real estate.  Major news outlets are watching and large numbers of people come to the site to learn about real estate.  The localism function even allows them to find you by region.  The more you blog, the higher your rank and the more leads you can get.  So if you're a blogger, I might consider moving your blog to ActiveRain.  And if you've been meaning to get a blog started, no is the time and ActiveRain is the place.

BlitzTime
Have you ever tried to join a BNI group only to be told that the Realtor spot was already taken?  This is a common occurrence in the BNI world.  In fact, most BNI chapters that I know of were formed at the start with a Realtor, a mortgage officer and a financial planner because that's the only way these three professions can usually get into a BNI group.  Well, no more. 

There's a new way to network (and make a little extra cash) and it's called BlitzTime.  Using this tool, you get to contact people one-on-one and talk to them about your business.  You can even identify who you'd prefer to talk to.  Plus, you can run your own events specific to real estate that get potential clients to come in and chat with you.  What's even better, is that BlitzTime is now offering an affiliate program which will allow you to make a commission on each person who signs up to BlitzTime as a result of your invitation.  So you can create a group, run events to bring in potential customers and cross-referrers AND make a commission on them joining the site.  How great is that?

Meetup Groups
There are many ways in which you can glean business from the social networking site, Meetup.com.  You can create your own Meetup group around the subject of real estate - investing, first time buyers, etc.  Or, you can be more subtle and look for the groups that relate to the life transitions that usually result in real estate transactions.  You can attend new parent groups or retirement planning groups, or wealth creation groups, or job search groups, etc.  It's all about being in front of the right person at the right time.  Or, you could just go to groups that you like and meet people who may or may not be interested in buying and selling - at least you're getting out and meeting new people and that's the key to getting more business.

Craigslist
If you haven't been posting your listings and advertising for buyers on Craigslist, then youre missing the boat.  Craigslist is like an online classified ad section of the newspaper.  It's one of the top ranked sites in the country and gets millions of page views per month.  If you write a compelling ad (something that offers the target something of value to them), you could get multiple leads per week for $25.  That's a deal.

Commenting on Blogs
If you find a real estate blog that tends to get a lot of traffic from your local area, get out there and start commenting on it!  Don't use the comment as a direct marketing tool - it's generally considered SPAM to post a promotional piece on your comments area (and it will likely get your comment deleted by the owner of the blog), but if you make a good point and catch readers' eyes, they may click through to your site and end up being your prospect after all. 

Twitter
Twitter is a microblogging platform.  What does that mean?  It means that you get to say what's going on with you in 140 characters or less.  It is often helpful to have conversations about real estate or post your listings on Twitter since Twitter users will often have keywords set aside using tools like Tweetlater to keep them informed of the goings on in the real estate world in their area.  You may be surprised at how much traffic you get if you use this site well too.  Remember, tweets are not advertising tools - they are ways to communicate with your community.  Be sure to be a good Twitter citizen.  And also remember to link your Twitter profile to your blog so that your posts get sent as tweets.

First Time Home Buyer Seminars
Running seminars is one of the best ways to get t a bunch of prospects into a room at the same time - and first time buyers are the perfect market right now because they don't have a home to sell first - plus they are anxious to get into the market while prices are low.  You just have to convince them that they can get financing. 

Integrating Your Tools
Now, if you've been paying attention and doing the things listed above, then you'll see that you can really leverage your other efforts to advertise your seminar.  You can add the seminar as a calendar event for your real estate-related Meetup group.  When you post it to your Meetup group, you can use the "Promote" section to take that listing and add it to your Facebook profile as well as posting it on Craigslist.  You can do an online version of the seminar on BlitzTime (it even allows you to upload your PowerPoint slides so you can do the whole presentation). And you can advertise both the online and live versions in your ActiveRain blog.  Once it hits your blog, since you've integrated that with your Twitter account, it will send out a notice to all of your followers on Twitter that you're doing something cool.  See - it's all about integration of your marketing tools.  It creates a holistic view and allows people to see your message multiple times.

(Note:  If you like the article here, would you go onto RISMedia and Vote for it?  I'd appreciate it!)

Additional Note:  I've had so many requests from people to learn more about these processes, that I've put together a training program on it.  Here are the details if you're interested.  Thanks again for reading!

Today I give up my car.  My lease is over and I'm turning the car in, returning my plates to the RMV, and cancelling my insurance.  Having grown up in southern California, my car has been an integral part of my life since I was sixteen.  From that point forward, my car has represented freedom. 

It Is Really Free?
But for the last few years as I've lived in the city and had to deal with the issue of parking, it has seemed like less of a freedom.  Even though I have a driveway where I live so I don't have to deal with trolling for on-street parking; it is a shared driveway and it means a constant shuffling of cars and negotiation of who will shovel it.  And when I park on the street in the winter, I can occasionally get a ticket for parking on the wrong side of the street (even though there are no signs to say this).

Paying for Freedom
And then there are the payments and insurance that come with a car.  It's not so bad when you own your car outright like I did my last car.  But this one I leased and therefore the payments were ever-present, whether I used the car or not.  And the truth of the matter is that I don't drive that often.  And I need to drive even less than I do.  (Let's face it, it's not going to kill me to walk a mile to the T stop.)

I know a woman who travels for months on end with Amma.  She doesn't own a car.  Not because she doesn't want one, but because while she is on the road volunteering her time, the meter on her car payments and insurance doesn't stop.  She is basically enslaved financially to her car if she owns one. 

The 4-Hour Work Week
Timothy Ferriss talks about creating a life where you can live for months abroad.  He doesn't maintain a residence.  And, while he doesn't say it in the book, I presume that he also doesn't own a car.  I'm thinking that I'm going to love the extra $500/mo. in my pocket.  I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about not being able to go out the door, jump in the car and go.  I'm having mixed feelings about it.  Does this add to my freedom, or take away from it?

Financial Freedom
While we're at it, let's talk about financial freedom.  A couple years ago, I had a month where I had a ton of extra cash coming in.  I spoke with all of the people I respected in business at the time and asked whether I should spend that money on creating a new brand image for the company or pay off the debt that I had accumulated during start-up.  Without exception, each recommended the new brand.  And, don't get me wrong, I love the new brand.  But I'm realizing that I took that advice a little too far.  As the year progressed and more money came in, I continued to spend it on things other than debt reduction.  Today, as I still service that debt, I'm wishing I had done more to pay it down that year.  My desire to cut loose and be free in the moment - using the money that was coming in to take ten different trainings that year, to make up for the lean years where I could afford to take any - has limited my freedom today. 

Many Forms of Freedom
Freedom takes many shapes.  Most often we think about financial freedom, but there is also freedom of thought which comes through vigilant attention to what assumptions we allow others and ourselves to place on our thinking.  There is freedom of expression which is a function of our willingness to take a risk and others' willingness to receive our offering.  Then there is freedom associated with people.  Do you have attachments to many people or to none or somewhere in between?  Who we are attached to does in some ways restrict our freedom.  Depending on the person, it could restrict it a lot.  (We all know those people.)

Freedom in Relationship
People who are single are often thinking about being in relationship and those in relationship are often jealous of the freedom of the singles.  It seems the grass is always greener.  But the fact is that freedom without connection isn't really worth it.  This is why singles want to be in relationship.  It's all great and fine to do whatever you want, whenever you want to, but it's even better to have someone to share it with.  But with relationship comes compromise  You give up some of your freedom in order to be with the other person.

The Balance of Freedom vs. Engagement
I don't know that I could live like Timothy Ferriss does.  Oh, I could do it for a while and I'd have a great time, but I need more connection than that.  I need people who know me, who have history with me, who know who I am in all kinds of situations.  It's a reality check.  It's grounding.  It's a place to belong. 

The debt that I took out years ago to get this business off the ground provided me with the freedom to leave my job and run my own business.  That business has provided me with ultimate freedom to come and go, work or not work as I choose.  Is it worth the trade of some debt service?  I think so.  (Although the next time a chunk of cash comes in, it's going to pay some of that debt down so that I can have even more freedom.)

Walking the Tightrope
So, this is what it comes down to.  As a culture, we long for freedom - it's in our blood.  Our ancestors came to this land seeking it.  It was important enough to them to leave everything they knew and set out for places unknown.  And that blood still flows in our veins.  We are freedom seekers.  The question is:  what are you willing to give up in exchange for your freedom?  I was willing to live with debt and the uncertainty of being an entrepreneur not knowing when the next paycheck would arrive.  Timothy Ferriss is willing to live in a strange city where he doesn't speak the language and just as he gets comfortable, to move again.  Some people are willing to live on the street or on other people's couches or on communes.  There are many choices.  What is yours?

More in the Giving Up My Car Series

Success Is Achieving Multiple Goals at Once

Giving Up My Car - An update

More On Ending My Car Lease

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I've had a hard day today.  I've been running up against deadlines, trying to get my speaking engagements set for my trip to Florida (see my last post for more on that) and getting the word out to other trainers about the Real Estate Week I'm setting up on BlitzTime, so I've been flat out.  I worked 12 hours yesterday and I was planning on doing much the same today.  Sadly, the house didn't agree. 

This morning the hot water heater gave out.  It's only 3 years old, but it was tired, so it took the big dirt nap.  So, rather than doing all of the important things that HAD to get done today, I spent the morning on the phone with warranty people, the plumber and the handyman (who was here doing other work) trying to get it sorted out and coordinated.  Then I had to run out to collect my scarf from my friends' house where I had left it because today it took me 20 minutes to get there, but next week it would take almost an hour and a half (the wonders of the public transport system and not having a car). 

It was an exhausting day and I was feeling kind of sorry for myself and over-stressed, so I decided to go in for some comfort food and I went to a Chinese restaurant.  I remembered that I had a red envelope with some cash that had been gifted to me as part of a Chinese new year celebration by my sweetie's boss, so I used that money to buy my lunch.

While I was sitting there, a man came in saying that his social worker had just given him a credit card with some cash on it and he wanted to buy some dumplings.  But the man behind the counter required a minimum purchase of $12 for him to use a credit card.  He didn't have the $3.50 for the dumplings and he couldn't afford to buy more.  He only had the card.  I walked up to the counter and gave the restaurant owner a five dollar bill and said "it's on me".  The man got his dumplings and all was right with the world.

When the man left, the owner came over and asked me why I paid for the man's food.  I said, "I was feeling kind of down about my life and all of the work that I have left to do tonight and the challenges that have come up this morning.  Then that man came in and he didn't have $5 for food.  I suddenly realized that I DID have $5 for food.  And not only that, I had another $5 that I wouldn't really miss if I paid for his food too.  So by not having money for food, that man has made my day better by providing me with some needed perspective.  That was well worth the five dollars."

So here's my challenge for you today.  What are you looking at in your life that's bringing you down?  Now consider not having five dollars to buy food.  Feel any better?  I know I do.

Hey Guys!

I've been hearing from people off and on who are asking me to come to them to speak, but when it comes to paying travel expenses and speaking fees, it's just out of reach.  Well, if you're in Tampa or Orlando, FL, you have a chance to get me - CHEAP!

I'm going to be in the area from Feb 10-15, 2009.  (Yes, that's just a couple weeks away.)  I'm available to speak to local brokerages and boards during the time I'm in town and I'll do it for the rate that I charge for my local brokers in Boston.  Are you interested?  Give me a call soon!  I'm sure my time will fill up quickly as I send out emails to my list, so don't wait. Want to know the types of things I can teach?  Here's a quick topic list.  You can choose from the list or if you want to really make my day, let me custom design something for your group.  You'll also get references and meeting planner notes by using the link above.  (Or, you can just call me if you want it to be really easy.)

Are you an agent looking for a little personal 1-on-1 coaching?  I can do that too while I'm in town.  Again, first come, first serve.  My limitations are this: 

1. I must spend some part of Valentines Day with my sweetie
2. We are attending the University of Florida Science Expo (that's our reason for being in town), so appointments must be arranged around that.
3. We must have fun (remember, I'm the freak who thinks teaching buyer agency is fun though - so I think you're OK)

So that's the deal.  I'll be visiting a friend in Orlando at some point during the trip, so I'd like to schedule some work around that trip too if possible.  My vacation is your bonus!  Come out and see me!