Life Is Like a Box Of Chocolates...

What Happens Behind the Scenes
I was speaking to a mover and shaker in real estate today (at her request, she will remain nameless so that I can quote her with impunity).  She was at a convention recently and was speaking with a person on the floor of the expo area who was whining about his lack of business. 

"Are you taking your down-time to catch up on your CE's?" she asked. 

He said he wasn't. 

"Are you taking some professional development classes?" she asked. 

"No" was once again his reply. 

"Are you even prospecting?"

His half-hearted response was that he was "trying but it just wasn't working". 

Her response to me (although she didn't say it to this agent's face) was that it was NO WONDER he had no business!  The best agents are out there doing what it takes to get the business, not sitting on their hands failing to be proactive about anything except their whining!

I Had To Agree
I've got coaching clients all over the place who are telling me that business is picking up.  They are saying that they are busier than they know how to handle at times.  We're working on TIME MANAGEMENT issues, not on prospecting.  Why?  Because they are ALREADY prospecting and doing it systematically so that it's not dependent on their actions, but happens automatically.  These agents have plenty of business and I almost NEVER hear them complain about the market.  Rather than complaining, they are out trying to figure out what's next and how they can get things to work better now.  One of my agents who has been actively pursuing foreclosures is starting to slack off now, seeing the end of the trend, and is focusing on the next hot item in her area based on her research.  She knows that being proactive and putting thought into action are the keys to success in this - or any - marketplace.

Then There Are the Other Guys

We all know them, they're the ones who find it easier to whine than to prospect.  They're the victims of the world, the "woe is me" contingent.  They will find no business because that's what they expect to find.  They were around when I first got into the business over 15 years ago and they're still around now.  The faces have changed, but it's the same voices plaintively mewling "why me?" over and over again. And you know what I say?  GOOD!  FABULOUS!  WONDERFUL!  Keep complaining!  It leaves more business on the table for the rest of us who are willing to work for it.

Because, as my friend said to me earlier today (and she was right), it is going to be the guy who was sharpening the saw, not the person who was sitting at home trying not to slit their wrists that ultimately gets the business.

So I've been trying for a while to get Google Analytics to work on ActiveRain and it just doesn't.  What DOES work however is Feedburner.  Not only does it work, but it will also:

• Turn my blog into an email newsletter for anyone who wants it. 
  
• AND it keeps track of my metrics on who has visited the site and when. 
  
• AND it will add my blog to any RSS reader you'd like. 
  
• AND it has all kinds of little fun widgets that I can use to promote my blog on my other sites. 
  
• AND you can read how many readers I have (which was zero when I wrote this post since I think it's based on subscribers and I just added it, so clearly my AR subscribers don't count in this scenario). 
  

So I don't know how I'm going to aggregate my info yet, but at least I'm now gathering it - and that's the first step.

Want to add Feedburner to your AR profile? 

1. First sign up for Feedburner on their site.  You'll want to wander through all of the tabs and see the cool stuff they have to offer.  (I even customized the look of my box so that it matched my company brand.) 
   
2. Then go into your Settings tab on your "My Home" page. 
   
3. Then copy the html code that they gave you into your "Blog Description" at the bottom of whatever is there now.  (You may want to do what I did and add an empty line and a <p><center> tag so that you know where the Feedburner code starts in case you want to take it out or change it later. 
   
4. Hit the save button DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH THE BLOG DESCRIPTION SECTION (A.K.A. if you hit the button at the bottom of the page instead, it will dump your changes)
5. Go check your blog to make sure it looks the way you want.
   

It's just that easy!

While you're at it, you could snag the SiteMeter code from them as well - you install it the same way you do Feedburner.  I did that last night too - see?  Cool new stuff on my sidebar!  Of course this means that I'm going to obsessively check my site to see how long it takes for my numbers to go up.  So if you want to make me happy, hit the subscribe button for me.  Much like watching my score on AR go up, I get HUGE kicks out of watching my subscribers go up.  (I know - I'm a total geek, but there is it.) 

Big thanks to Brad Andersohn for the tips!  Brad, as always, you rock!

I've recently discovered that Facebook had been using my name and face to advertise Oil of Olay to my friends.  It seems that unless you opt out, Facebook will use your groups, click-throughs, fan clubs, etc. to associate you with products that it believes are aligned with you and then use that association to advertise those products to your friends.  It's creepy really.  I asked my friend who told me about seeing my name associated with the ad to send me the link to it.  I followed the link and found this:  Social Media - The Social Advertising Newtwork

If you follow the link while logged into your Facebook account, you too can opt out of them using your name for advertising without your permission. 

For the record, I opted out not because they misrepresented me.  (I do use Oil of Olay every day and I think it's a great product.  But I NEVER gave them permission to use my name in advertising.)  I opted out because I don't know what product they will associate me with tomorrow that I might not be as happy about espousing.  Since I'm all about being in integrity, I don't want to take any chances that someone else's comments about me might put me out of integrity with my friends.  Something you might want to think about too.  After all, do you really want your friends to see that you recommend Zillow for getting a CMA on their home?

A friend died recently.  She was very young and her passing has shaken the community.  We've had a series of too young deaths in the last couple of years.  Today, as I was surfing through my friends' sites, I saw her Facebook page.  It has become a virtual memorial.  There are comments from many members of the community sharing photos with one another and expressing their grief.  Being that many people in our community are flung across the East Coast and in fact across the country, I find it comforting to know that there is a place where everyone can come together to share their feelings and to comfort one another.  I doubt that Facebook had any idea that this would be the case when they started their site, and yet, here it is.

If you are interested in seeing the page it is here.  I'm not sure how much you can see if you are not friended to her, but it's a beautiful tribute.  I used to think that a life well lived was indicated by a long line at the funeral parlor.  Now I think it may be morphing into a long list of post mortem comments on Facebook.  However you measure it, she was loved.

Yesterday, I discussed how a desire for freedom and a need for purpose are fueling our workforce.  Today I want to discuss how tribalism is affecting our modern day culture.  It is my intention to do a series of these "Macro Look at the World" discussions to give us an overview to set the tone for a larger strategic discussion of how this all affects the real estate industry as a whole.  It's going to be a wide-ranging discussion, but if you stick with it, it will all come together in the end.  I promise.

Tribalism - A Definition
First I want to begin with a definition of tribalism so that you have context for what I am talking about.  I am not talking about "tribe" in the traditional idea of a small unit of people who live together, interbreed, and rely on one another for safety, sustenance and survival.  What I mean by tribe in this context is the tendency of people to form into groups for specific purposes and to treat those groups as a type of "family-of-choice".  They do bear a resemblance to the traditional definition in that rely on one another for emotional support, sometimes they intertwine their financial lives, they might even interbreed or live together.  Or they might not.  Let's look at the ways in which tribes are forming in America (and sometimes around the world) today.

Social Media Tribes
When I talk about tribalism to people they will often direct me to the Internet as the classic example.  There are all kinds of tribal groups in the social media scene.  You can find a special interest group on any topic.  And, through the miracle of technology, people from around the country and around the globe can form friendships based on a common interest.  These friendships can be as real as any IRL friendship a person can have - in some cases, they are even more real since the lack of physical proximity can often remove the barriers of resistance to sharing information that might be damaging if it got out to one's IRL friends. 

The Human Animal
Desmond Morris in his ground-breaking television series, The Human Animal, discussed the creation of tribes.  He studied humans in small towns and big cities and he discovered that small towns are their own tribes, but as a group gets too big, people form sub-tribes - units smaller than the whole - to have a sense of community and connection.  This is why people will walk by someone in pain on the street in a big city - that person is not part of their tribe - they do not feel connected or responsible to them.  This is also why there isn't a sense of connection with everyone on the Internet - it's just too big.  But you can have strong affinities within smaller groups.

Tribalism in Relationships
I keep hearing more people talk about their families in a new way.  They are referring to their "blood family" and then they refer to their "family of choice" - meaning their group of friends to whom they feel so close that they have adopted them as family.  Many people are choosing to spend holidays with the latter over the former Some are placing the responsibility for life and death decisions around living wills and the assignment of executors of estates on "family of choice" rather than blood relations as well.  Some are even moving this tribal mentality into their romantic relationships forming triads or more of interwoven relationships as part of the polyamory movement.

Tribalism in Housing
Even platonically, there are a growing number of intentional communities being formed using co-housing and community housing (many people sharing a larger home) concepts.  Children are literally being "raised by a village" of people within the community of the co-housing or community housing development.  Elders are being able to broaden their environment of interaction, parents are getting help and child care, and children are receiving a broad spectrum of input from a wide variety of individuals who are caring for them in their lives. 

Tribalism in Business
There are even businesses forming that represent a tribal approach.  Consider the cooperative farms, Napster, and even ZipCar.  The concept being one of sharing the cost to get more resources for lower expense per person.

Tribalism in the Real Estate Business
There's even tribalism in real estate.  When I started in real estate in 1993, teams of agents were rare. Today, they are becoming more commonplace than ever.  We are finding that having other team members to rely upon gives us work/life balance and allows us to focus more effectively on those things we individually do best.

Support Group Tribes
Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Cancer Survivors Network, grief groups, Weight Watchers, group therapy programs, and more are nothing more than tribes built around the concept of supporting their members through some major shift in their lives.  Even business has these types of support groups.  Consider the Chamber of Commerce, BNI, The American Business Women's Association, and other professional organizations.  Political movements have their support group tribes as well in the form of political action campaigns.  Charities have their groups, as do religious beliefs - even atheists have groups.

Why Form Tribes At All?
All of this clumping into groups - why do we do it?  There are many practical reasons for forming tribes.  They provide support in the form of sharing the work load or the emotional burden.  They offer the opportunity to reduce expenses by sharing resources.  In some cases, they provide a sense of "safety in numbers".  But, ultimately, once you take away all of the practical reasons, people just need a place to belong, a place where they are welcomed.  (I'm thinking along the lines of the Cheers "Hi, Norm!" sort of concept of belonging.) It is this sense of belonging that allows us to feel secure and forms the basis for our definition of self.  I.E. - I am (name). I'm a (professional title). I attend this religious circle, these workshops, belong to these online groups, and am a part of these communities.  Through these statements we tell other about ourselves, but we also use them to define who we are internally - using the outside world as a mirror to see ourselves. 

Being In Community
Even here, on Active Rain, we have our community.  This is our place to come together and have a sense of camaraderie - the knowledge that when we say something here, people will understand it.  Life is all about being seen, heard, understood and accepted for who we are.  These are at the core of all people's needs.  By forming tribes, we hope to gain a greater chance of getting those needs met.  Thanks for being my tribe.

A Macro Look at the World:  Part I – Revisioning Business

I have been having many conversations with movers and shakers in the last couple of weeks.  I've talked to internet marketers, corporate consultants, brokerage consultants and more and all agree on one thing:  the way we've done business in the past is no longer the way we will do it in the future.  This economic downturn combined with the next generation of workers having a wholly different set of values sets the stage for massive change in the way America does business.

The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss
For those of you who haven't read this book - go read it.  It's fascinating.  The thing I find most fascinating about it is its popularity.  It clearly defines a lifestyle that is far beyond most people's risk tolerance, but it still appeals to the masses.  Want to guess why?  Freedom.  It shows the reader one path to freedom. And the issue that's going to be the biggest concern for business in the coming years is just this yearning for freedom.

The Inauguration
A couple of days ago, Barack Obama was inaugurated as our 44th President.  Millions came out to watch the event and millions more around the world attended via television and the Internet.  Why?  Because on a subtle, almost unconscious level, the inauguration of the first African American to the highest office in the nation of a people who had as recently as 144 years ago engaged in the practice of slavery makes a potent statement about freedom and how far we have come.

Today's Enslavement
Today, people are feeling like slaves to their jobs, their mortgages, their children, their spouses, their responsibilities, and their lives in general.  They are feeling like they are being dragged through life rather than engaging the adventure.  The blush is off the rose of the pursuit of wealth for wealth's sake.  Anytime I speak to a room of people looking to improve their circumstances I ask them how much money they want to make.  When I get that answer, I ask them why. 

Why People Pursue Money
There are many reasons in the past why people have pursued money.  They have done it for power, for safety, for security, for the adventure, for the toys, and for the challenge.  And yet, oddly, in the last 10 years every time I pose that question, time after time the answer comes back the same: "I want to be able to do what I want when I want to do it."  And that, my dear friends, is freedom.

Freedom and the Generations
I have spent a fair amount of time with the people in the 18-30 age range, and I will tell you that they have a different view of the world than those of my generation do (I'll be 40 this year).  And those in my generation have a vastly different view than our parents did. 

My Father's Generation
My father's definition of life is to work hard, meet your responsibilities, provide for the family, and try to enjoy yourself in the small spaces in between.  That is what responsible citizens do.  He and I have always been at odds when it comes to his view of my life.  Because when faced with the same decisions that he had, I chose a different path. 

My Path
Rather than pursuing wealth, I have chosen freedom - pretty much every time.  I've walked away from tens of thousands of dollars when it was a choice between giving up my freedom of choice or giving up the cash.  It was a no-brainer decision every time.  Now I am not typical of my generation - I'm much more like the 18-30 set of today. 

The 30-40 Somethings (A.K.A. - Gen X)
Most of the people in my generation are hard workers, we're not afraid to get our hands dirty and we know that we have to work for what we get, but we, unlike our parents, crave the freedom that we can see just beyond our reach.  We have not resigned ourselves to the idea that we will never have it or that we will have to wait until retirement to have it.  We want it now!  Most of us however aren't willing to give up our creature comforts to have it. 

The Next Generation
But those in their 20s right now don't have this limitation.  They are perfectly happy to live in smaller quarters with more people.  They are not attached to having the same toys that Gen Xers grew up thinking we were entitled to.  They are consistently choosing the environment over themselves, a sense of purpose over creature comforts, and freedom over money.  This is going to be a major problem for the country based on consumerism and excess.  Our next generation isn't buying it - not the ideals, not anything. 

The 4-Hour Workweek
So I'm back to the 4-Hour Workweek and its message.  The challenge for business in the coming years is going to be to address not just this next generation's demand for freedom, but also my generation's craving for it.  Business is also going to need to buy into a sense of purpose larger than its own desire to grow and be profitable.  We, as a culture, are exhausted from all of this running.  We need a sense of purpose and the experience of freedom to keep us moving forward.

Freedom and Purpose
These are going to be the buzzwords of the next decade.  As you think about how you can re-vision your business, consider how you can build in these aspects of life into your plan.  I've been spending a lot of time trying to dismantle my assumptions about how business "should" be done, so that I can free myself to vision a new tomorrow that is not fettered by yesterday's dogma.  I'm not there yet, but I'm cogitating.

Stay Tuned
I've got more to say on this subject.  My next step:  The Resurgence of Tribalism in America.  I'll do that post later today or tomorrow.  In the meantime, if you have some creative thoughts on how business can be restructured in light of these new ideals, I'd love to hear them.

Yours in Freedom,

Kelle Sparta

It seems that there is more to this lease ending thing than I ever realized.  It is not enough to just turn one's car in.  One must also have an inspection done.  Well, the girl who set my appointment for this inspection said I had to have ALL of my maintenance records for the last four years available to the inspector.  So I spent 3 hours today digging through records and receipts looking for all of the data (the accountant left my records in total disarray - something I hadn't realized until today), only to have the inspector show up and say that he only needed the last vehicle maintenance which was the oil change receipt that had been sitting in my wallet and I found in 5 seconds since I'd had it done a week ago.  Needless to say, the scheduling company and I had a LONG talk about the value of my time. 

Sigh.  I've got a headache. Only two more weeks (and $600 in over-mileage fees) and I'll never have to deal with this again.  Repeat after me:  I will never lease a car, I will never lease a car...

But at least there is one good thing coming out of this.  I've gotten motivated to sort through all of my records for this year to get them ready for the accountant.  (Are your records accountant ready?  Tax season is upon us!)  So I'm off to watch a feel-good movie and shuffle papers.  Have fun all!

Success Is Achieving Multiple Goals at Once

Giving Up My Car - An update

What Is Freedom?

Blogging for PR

Do you want information on how to coach your clients through the sales process? Sign up for my FREE 10-Part Audio training program.

Get my book The Consultative Real Estate Agent: Building Relationahips that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals and Increase Your Sales.

Kelle Sparta, author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent, is one of the top innovators in the industry. She thinks outside of the box and she does it with style, which is how she managed to sell 25 houses her first year in the business in a market just like this one in an area where she had no sphere of influence! Kelle's innovative techniques took her to the top of the market in 1993 and they can take you there now. Kelle has coached agents from around the country who have been producing as much as $45 million per year in gross volume. Now she brings her unique style of real estate to you. Her dynamic presentation skills, high energy approach, and brilliant new ideas are sure to be the highlight of your day. Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides products, coaching and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love. For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2009, Kelle Sparta.

s I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm giving up my car.  This has been a more complicated process than I thought it would be.  I've had to purchase a backpack, thermal underwear, a balaclava, new gloves, and snow boots.  I also purchased a rain slicker -- something I have never owned before.  I've had to clean out my car (wow, there was a lot of stuff in there), fill up my Charlie Card, and get a membership to Zipcar.  I've also had to dig out four years' worth of maintenance records which I had not set aside because I had planned to purchase this car at the end of the lease.  Wednesday, I will be spending the entire day at home waiting for the inspection company to look at my car so that I can return it. 

The End of an Era
Before I turn my car in, I'm trying to get all the things done that need doing now.  This means picking up items left at friends houses, visiting people who live far enough away that I can't get there by public transport, and purchasing large items that I can't carry on my bike.  I'm learning to think about the world differently.  No longer can I walk out my front door and drive anywhere I'd like.  Now I have to plan.  I look at the world according to "how much can I carry" and "how far do I have to go"?

Being More Efficient
I'm also looking into ways to be more efficient with my purchasing.  I drink a lot of seltzer, so I've been looking into a seltzer maker so that I don't have to figure out how to carry all those heavy bottles of water home.  I'm also considering home delivery of groceries.  My first stop was Peapod, but after a review of the prices they offered versus the prices of the store where I normally shop, I determined it would cost an extra $160 a month (30% more than my usual household bill) to have groceries delivered that way.  For that kind of money, I could pay someone to buy the groceries at my store and have them bring them home and put them away.  Roche Brothers on the other hand, seems to be more in line pricewise, so I'll probably try them next month and see how it goes.  I'm also looking at restarting my Boston organics delivery so that I can have fresh produce every week.

A New Mindset
They say that every time you change your circumstances you change your mind, and I am finding that to be true.  I can't wait to see what the coming months bring.  Thanks for following along.

Success Is Achieving Multiple Goals at Once

More On Ending My Car Lease

What Is Freedom?

Blogging for PR

Do you want information on how to coach your clients through the sales process? Sign up for my FREE 10-Part Audio training program.

Get my book The Consultative Real Estate Agent: Building Relationahips that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals and Increase Your Sales.

Kelle Sparta, author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent, is one of the top innovators in the industry. She thinks outside of the box and she does it with style, which is how she managed to sell 25 houses her first year in the business in a market just like this one in an area where she had no sphere of influence! Kelle's innovative techniques took her to the top of the market in 1993 and they can take you there now. Kelle has coached agents from around the country who have been producing as much as $45 million per year in gross volume. Now she brings her unique style of real estate to you. Her dynamic presentation skills, high energy approach, and brilliant new ideas are sure to be the highlight of your day. Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides products, coaching and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love. For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2009, Kelle Sparta.

This is a blog that's just getting started, so there's not much there yet, but I've heard this guy speak and he's got great things to say.  I suggest you subscribe and check it out.  It's stuff you won't find anywhere else...

Everywhere you look there are indicators that the economy is tanking.  Bad news pervades the scene.  How is a generally positive person to keep her usually rosy outlook on track?  I don't know about you guys, but I have a few tricks up my sleeves that help me to stay focused on the positives in life.

Don't Watch the News!
The news outlets are only looking for the worst, most sensational news to tell you about.  They do this because this is what people will pay for.  It's sad, but it's true.  I stopped watching the news years ago when a woman news achor was reporting about an accident involving a school bus and when she said "thankfully, no one was hurt", she sounded disappointed.  I was done.  And you know what?  I haven't missed anything.  In 10 years nothing that has been relevant to me has passed me by.  There's always someone who tells me when the blizzard is coming or the latest heart-warming story or when I should be on the lookout for something.  I haven't missed anything except the blood and gore and general unhappiness in the world.  This one act alone has been HUGE in improving my outlook.

Don't Watch Crime Shows
I used to be a crime show fanatic.  I watched all of the Law and Orders, all of the CSIs, Crossing Jordan, NCIS, you name it, I watched it.  And then a few years ago, I got TiVo and I could watch them on demand.  I'd watch four or five hours in a row if I had a free evening.  A few months later, I started getting migraines - bad ones.  After a couple of years of this my boyfriend at the time suggested that I take a break from TV for a while.  He thought that all of those crime shows couldn't be helping my stress levels.  I thought he was nuts, but I agreed to put a moratorium on watching any TV for a couple of weeks.  When I came back to it, I watched four hours of shows at a shot and by midway through the last show, I had a migraine.  That proved it for me.  I haven't watched a crime show since. 

Do Hang Out With Other Positive People
One of the best ways to avoid the blues is to hang out with other optimists.  Stay away from the negative Nellies of the world and keep yourself busy with those who are holding the best outlook in life.  One way to do this is to attend networking events with positive outlooks.  Here are a few events that can help you with this goal no matter where you live (they are hosted on BlitzTime):

How To Motivate People To Take Action and Buy Even in a Slow Economy

The Power of Now/Book Review

It’s All About Who You Know: A Business Development Networking Blitz

Read Positive Books
I love to read.  I don't always have time to read an entire book at a sitting, but I love to surf and sample my books.  I do divination by book sometimes when I'm looking for a little direction.  The lovely thing about this is that I can mostly pre-determine my answer by the book I pick.  It works like this:  ask a question, grab a book and open it to a random page and start reading for the answer.  You'd be surprised how often it's really relevant.

My Recommended Books
Anyway, there are a few books that I would recommend you read whether you read them in bits and pieces or all the way through to keep you in a positive mindset.  They are:

Loving What Is by Byron Katie - I love this woman. My favorite quote comes from her: "I know everyone in the world loves me. I just don't expect them to know it yet."

Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach. I've read this book about 10 times in my life. I adore it and it keeps life in perspective for me.

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. There's nothing like understanding the nature of things to keep you relaxed and moving forward. This one is good for that.

Want to know more about my perspective on the world and how I stay balanced? Check out my ebook Going Within:Finding Balance In An Unstable World

Do you want information on how to coach your clients through the sales process? Sign up for my FREE 10-Part Audio training program.

Get my book The Consultative Real Estate Agent: Building Relationahips that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals and Increase Your Sales.

Kelle Sparta, author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent, is one of the top innovators in the industry. She thinks outside of the box and she does it with style, which is how she managed to sell 25 houses her first year in the business in a market just like this one in an area where she had no sphere of influence! Kelle's innovative techniques took her to the top of the market in 1993 and they can take you there now. Kelle has coached agents from around the country who have been producing as much as $45 million per year in gross volume. Now she brings her unique style of real estate to you. Her dynamic presentation skills, high energy approach, and brilliant new ideas are sure to be the highlight of your day. Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides products, coaching and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love. For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2009, Kelle Sparta.