Life Is Like a Box Of Chocolates...

Buying In the City
An interesting thing has happened in the last week or so.  I've been looking for a home to purchase.  For those of you who don't know, I've been renting for the last year because I just moved into the city surrouding Boston and I wasn't sure I was going to like it, so I didn't want to commit to buying until I knew for sure.  Well, as it turns out I love the city (go figure - hustle and bustle and always something new to do and Kelle's happy - quel suprise!). 

30's and 40's Women
Well, as I've been talking to friends in my community, I've found several other women of my age-range (late thirties and early forties) who are also looking to buy.  We are all in the position that we would like to have a primary relationship in our lives at some point, but we don't want to put our lives on hold now, so we're not willing to continue to rent forever.  But we want an exit strategy on our properties as well. 

Buying With an Exit Strategy
So what we're doing is starting to look at larger multi-family dwellings together.  Our thought is that 3-4 of us will purchase a property with 5-10 units.  We will owner occupy and rent out the other units to offset our mortgages.  The cost per unit on these larger complexes is lower than we would pay for a condo and we can rent to other of our freinds who may not be in a position to purchase or who (like me) want to see if they like living in the city.  Eventually, we may condo the building.  Or not.  But when we are ready to move out, we will be able to rent out our unit fairly quickly. 

Being In Community
The nice thing about doing this together is that we know that we will have other people to count on.  We have people to check on us, to share a meal, to help us when we entertain.  But we don't have to live together. As much as we enjoy community, one thing we are all clear on is that we are DONE with the roommate thing.  We're too old to be dealing with the roommate situation, but we don't want to live all alone either.  This is the perfect solution.

What's In It For You?
"So what" you ask?  Well, think about it.  If this many of my friends are interested, think about how many other women might want to live in community as well.  Couldn't you potentially make a niche in working with women who want to buy into properties with these types of things in mind?  Couldn't you facilitate a group meeting to let the women get to know one another?  Couldn't you help them figure out what amenities are important to them, where they want to live and then help them find the properties?  From what I see, an agent specializing in this market could make an entire career around creating these types of communities. 

Cross-Promotion
And then, once the communities are in place and you have women investing money together, why not bring in a financial planner to allow them to continue to do it?  Perhaps they'd like to create an investment group - perhaps they'd like to finance someone who likes to do fix and flips but doesn't have the cash to do their purchases.  (That's two sales for you.)  There are all kinds of ways to do this!

Looking for a new niche?  Try this one.  I think you'll be happy you did.

Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as  being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry.  Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love.  For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta. 

Stop the World I Want To Get Off! 
It seems like every time I turn around something else has to be moved from the back burner to the front.  And there are already full pots on those burners!  I know, I know - I like to do too much.  That's the curse of being a Renaissance woman - I like everything - I'm interested in everything.  (OK, not sports, but everything else.)  But even the best laid plans can be turned upsidedown.

Ever-Changing Plans
I have someone coming into town on business with me on Thursday and I had planned on having another business associate coming a week after this one left.  But the second person decided to move up her trip be two weeks and is now arriving on Tuesday (tomorrow)!  Thank God she's staying for the three weeks, so I'm not going to have to try to entertain both at once, but man, things just get piled on top of each other at times. 

Morning Meditation
Now I realize that there is no substitute for calm in the midst of the frenetic storm that is the ever-changing landscape of my business life.  So I spend a little time each morning meditating.  I'm not going over what I have to do for the day, week, month, etc. (that's what stresses me out).  Instead I'm clearing my mind of all thoughts, putting a little white noise in my brain for a while to drown out all of the other thoughts. 

How to Meditate
For the longest time I thought that I didn't know how to meditate.  I didn't realize that all of those times when I just fuzzed my brain out and stared at the walls or floor and just thought about nothing, that I was actually meditating.  I thought there was some great trick to it, but it's deceptively simple.  Keeping a daily practice, being disciplined and being able to turn my brain off consistently even when it was running a million miles a minute - that was the hard part. 

Clearing Your Thoughts
The first step to meditation is to clear your thoughts.  When a thought comes up, thank it for coming and wish it well as it leaves - see it in a bubble floating away into the sky - totally unimportant in the moment right now.  The biggest challenge is not to get frustrated with yourself for thinking.  It's going to happen.  In the beginning (and sometimes even when you're very experienced), you'll spend 99% of the time letting go of your thoughts.  It's the practice that's important - not the results.  Just sitting still for an hour or half an hour each day can do wonders for your sense of equilibrium.

Point of Focus
Some people can't stare at the bad of their eye lids and hope to focus immediately on nothing.  For these people, it helps to have a point of focus.  A candle is good for this.  It is moving and changing, but still amorphous enough that you don't have to think about it.  Its flickering is an automatic relaxer for the nervous system.  So if you need a point of focus, use a candle flame.

Walking Meditation
Some people don't do well at sitting still for meditation, so you can always walk and meditate.  Just become intensely present with your environment.  See the edges around the things you pass.  Look carefully at the benches in the park - really see them.  This too is a type of meditation.  Don't think - stay out of your head.  Instead be aware - be in your body - feel the air against your skin, notice the quality of the light as it bounces off of the buildings or plants around you, smell the air, listen to the noises around you and find the music in them regardless of what they are.  This is the pattern of life.

Being At Choice
Once I have calmed my mind, then I open up my energy to the universe.  I remember that all of life is this wonderful game that I'm playing and, being the intensity junkie that I am, I love being busy.  I remember that I can choose to change the game any time I want.  I remember that I asked these wonderful people into my life and if they all happen to be coming in at once, well it's because they're excited to see me.  I remember that I have built this life I am living and at any time I can change the structure, the texture, the details, and the big picture.  It is all mine to sculpt and mold any way I like.  And, in that moment, I choose my life just the way it is.  Or I don't and I decide to change something.  Either way, I make peace with my life.

Making Peace
Most people go looking for peace in their lives.  They think that it's like the Holy Grail to be pursued but never attained.  The fact is that peace isn't outside of you.  It's a choice you make in each moment.  The things that break our peace are those things that we are in conflict with - those items of our lives that we are feeling out of control of or overwhelmed by, those things that we believe we didn't choose.  But here's the rub.  You chose everything in your life - just like I chose everything in mine.  And if I'm stressed out, well, I chose that too.  And just like I chose to be stressed out when I woke up this morning, I can choose to stop stressing about it too.  Peace is just a decision away.

Choose Peace for Your Life Today - I Know I Will

Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as  being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry.  Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love.  For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta. 

I wrote this a few days ago on paper, but only just now hit a computer to add it here.  It was written Thanksgiving morning as I prepared to drive up to my friend's house to put the turkey in the oven.  He and I have run our own "Family of Choice" Thanksgiving for 3 or 4 years now and we do the cooking together.  Here's what I wrote:

This morning as I choose the perfect clothes to wear for Thanksgiving - you know, the ones that will be both stylish and practical for running around the kitchen in - I have found myself thinking about my jewelry selection.  I pick up a bracelet given to me recently by a friend who made it specifically for me, specifically to go with my turquoise-blue clothing (of which there is much).  I place the bracelet on my wrist in silent thanks and receiving the love with which it was given and I think "I'm going to wear only jewelry given to me by people who love me".  I look in my jewelry box and immediately my eye is drawn to the rainbow moonstone necklace given me by a friend years ago.  He knew my love of semi-precious stones and somehow knew that I would love this piece - it also has turquoise-colors in it.  Then I'm looking at my earrings and realizing how many of those were given to me by loving friends.  I choose a set that were hand-made glass teardrops with, you guessed it, turquoise blue swirls.  Now I am fully dressed in my friends' love for me and I feel decidedly thankful and loved.

It is a 45-minute drive to the location of our dinner.  On the way, I call friends and family to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving.  When I get an answering machine, I simply leave my message saying something like "Hi, it's Kelle.  I'm just calling to tell you how much I love you and how happy I am that you are in my life.  Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!" 

Once at the house, my friend and I jump into action, getting the turkey ready so that it can be done in time for supper.  Then, there is a lull.  We have done much of the prep work yesterday - working in quiet camaraderie, each providing support for the other's dishes.  So we have things well in hand today.  There is only the arranging of the furniture and some last-minute cleaning to do for the next few hours.

And so I sit here, turkey in the oven, pen in hand, jotting down some notes from this day so that I don't lose this feeling.  In a couple of hours, our guests will descend upon the house with laughter and joy and I will be swept away in the moment and brought through to an exhausted but happy ending.  But for now, there is the quiet of the oven clicking away and my pen scratching the paper.  And for now, in peace, I have my own thanks-giving.

Thank you, universe, for all the wonderful people you have sent to my life.  Thank you for the lessons I have learned.  Thank you for the person I have become.  Thank you for the love I receive now and always from those around me.  Thank you for the partnership of the man who could not be my long-term lover but indeed is a perfect friend.  Thank you for the quiet time today that I may reflect and enjoy it.  Thank you.

I've just spent the weekend at a workshop learning how to take better care of myself - how to be more loving towards me.  You know, I've been doing personal growth work for years.  I started on this path when I was 10 years old when my mother taught me self-hypnosis.  I've been doing hard-core personal growth for the past 10 years now and I'm only just now beginning to understand all this "stuff" about loving yourself.  It's pretty simple actually. 

For everything you do during the day, ask yourself "if my friend were doing this to themselves, would I think that was a loving thing to do?"  In other words, if your friend were working 12 hour workdays and taking no time off, would you be happy with that? If your friend ate takeout instead of cooking healthy meals, would that be OK too?  If he didn't sleep enough?  If she ignored her marriage and her family to spend time with clients?  If he never asked for help no matter how much he needed it?  If she sabotaged her financial future by overspending and failing to plan for tax season?  What if your friend were drinking too much? 

Look at your life from the outside in.  What things are you doing to yourself that you wouldn't want to see a friend doing?  Then change those things.  You'll be surprised at how much a difference just a few shifts can make. 

For me, I spent the weekend looking out for myself.  If I knew something was going to be emotionally challenging, then I arranged to have someone there to catch me.  I made sure I got enough sleep, that I had a comfortable place to sit during the exercises, and that I ate enough to keep me going, but not so much that I felt over-full.  I asked for help when I needed it.  I asked for hugs.  And was willing to allow people to be there for me, to help me for a change. 

There's nothing that can feed you more when you're depleted than having someone else take care of you - in little ways - for a while.  I highly recommend it.

Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as  being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry.  Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love.  For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta. 

Picking Up On The Details
People are constantly amazed at how much information I can glean from them in a short conversation.  There are thousands of little clues that everyone drops that tell you things about them.  If I'm meeting you in person, it's even easier because I have the physical clues to give me hints as well.  What you're wearing, how you're wearing it, how you stand, the way you present yourself to me - all of these things speak of who you are.     

Being Fully Present In The Moment
Why is it that I can pick up on all of these things when others seem oblivious to them?  Simple - I am not thinking about or paying attention to anything other than you.  I am fully present in the moment with you.  We are in such a hectically paced world that most people's attentions are split about 15 different ways at any given time.  You're worried about your next appointment or reviewing the last one.  You're thinking you're hungry and wondering how long you'll have to talk to this person before you can eat.  Your cell phone is going off repeatedly.  You're wearing a shirt where the tag is scratching at your neck and irritating you.  No matter how big or small, the distractions are there.  

Getting Rid of Distractions
So how do you avoid being distracted?  Simple.  Set an alarm to tell you when it's time to go to the next appointment and then forget about it.  Discipline yourself not to review other appointments when you're on this one.  Cut the tag out of your shirt.  Ask the client to wait a moment and go get a snack from your desk.  And, for heaven's sake, turn off your cell phone when you go into the meeting - don't turn it to vibrate - turn it off.  Even getting a vibrated call breaks the flow of conversation.   

Be Intensely Curious
Then focus entirely on the person in front of you.  Wonder what is going on with them, who they are, what they want out of life.  Wonder how they are feeling, what they are thinking and what is important to them.  When you can get out of your own head and truly want to know the answers to these questions, then those answers begin to present themselves to you in lots of little ways.   

Smile
People can feel it when you truly take an interest in them.  They can feel the energy coming from you.  When you smile, you open yourself up to them as well and they feel safer to share the more intimate details of their hopes and dreams with you.  

Getting Closer
Why should you go to all of this effort?  Well, there are a few reasons.  First, it will help you make more sales and keep more sales together as people get cold feet or encounter obstacles.  Second, you'll find that your interactions with people are more significant and satisfying for you.  And finally, you'll find that your stress levels will be lower. Focusing on only one thing at a time allows you to relax a lot.  We weren't made to be multi-taskers.  Being in the moment provides a sense of peace and balance that you can find nowhere else.    

Resources
Malcolm Gladwell talks about the ability to glean large amounts of information about people in a short timeframe in his book Blink.  It's a great read.   They recently made a movie out of James Redfield's book The Celestine Prophecy.  The movie is pretty good and it's a great reminder about being present and listening to your intuition.    Visit my recommended books bookstore

Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as  being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry.  Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love.  For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta. 

I wanted to mention another blog I just read on here about previewing houses by Carol Williams.  It's really a good post and I heartily agree with the sentiments the agent makes about it. 

For those of you who read my blog often, you'll know that I never do a post like this.  I REALLY liked it.  You should go check it out.

Cash Bribes Aren't Working... What to do?

A few months ago I mentioned (see that blog entry) the "Tut - Notes from the Universe" service.  Well, today's contribution was pretty profound in my estimation.  (I get the daily version in case you were wondering.)

"A main "Criteria of Consciousness" for the human experience, Kelle, is never having all you want. For as one dream comes true, another swiftly takes its place. Not having all you want is one of life's constants.

And learning to be happy while not yet having all you want (which, as you can see, is constant), is the first "Criteria of Joy." Nail it, and for the rest of your life people will be asking what it is about you.

Desire, Kelle, is a beautiful thing.

    The Universe"

So, as I sit here in the midst of working my butt off to get a new project launched and getting new trainers into place, I'm remembering that my life is happening now.  Not when the project is done.  Not when I have time to breathe, but right now.  I'd better enjoy it.

Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as  being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry.  Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love.  For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta. 

I've been talking for months about moving to San Francisco and I had really planned to do it.  I had a lot of good reasons why I wanted to make the move.  They were:

• The real estate market in San Francisco is better than the one in Boston, so it will be easier to work with agents there.
• Great weather, mild winters
• A more open base for the personal development company that I am starting
• A group of people who were ready, willing and able to welcome me into their community as family

Well, in the time since I decided to make the move and now, I have discovered a few things. 

• I enjoy the winter, the snow, the cold.  I like it.  (I know I'm a freak, that's not news.) 
• The real estate market may be better in San Fran, but it's also about twice as expensive to live there as it is to live in Boston (especially now that the prices are coming down here). 
• People on the East Coast aren't really resistant to personal growth, they just don't talk about it

 Plus, for the last six months as I've talked about leaving, everyone here has expressed dismay and sadness over my departure.  It's amazing how wonderful it feels to know that people will miss you, that your presence is wanted, and that you are welcome where you are.

I could tell you that it's a better business decision to stay here, but I'm not convinced that it is.  There are pros and cons to both staying and going that make it really hard to say which is a better choice.  But, quite frankly, I'm staying because I feel welcome here.  And when I feel welcome I am stronger - stronger in my personal power, stronger in my convictions, stronger in my integrity.  And I can think of no way to make good business decisions than when I am feeling strong.  So there it is.  I'm not moving. 

If you're in San Francisco and were looking forward to me coming out there, I'm sorry to disappoint.  Feel free to contact me about coming out to speak - I can still come for a visit, even if I'm not going to stay.  For those in Boston - I'm staying, so don't forget to include me on the invitation to lunch list every now and again (I hate to eat alone). 

Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as  being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry.  Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love.  For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta. 

As promised, here are the photos from my visit to Salem, MA on Halloween. 

There were thousands of people in the streets, many in costume.  There were a variety of activities for the day, but we spent our time wandering about and people-watching.  And it was totally worth it to be people-watching. 

The thing that struck me most clearly is how much of the '80s are coming back.  I've never felt so old in my life.  As a child of the '80's (I graduated in '87), I had flashbacks all night, whether it was the Ghostbusters car complete with Ghostbusters

                              Or The Blues Brothers

            (I couldn't resist getting my picture taken with them)

                  Or Morticia and Gomez

                       from The Adams Family

      There were even BREAKDANCERS!!! 

That's a sight I thought I'd never see again!

And then there was this guy - who seemed to enjoy posing for my picture almost as much as his french fries

                     All in all, it was a great time. 

  A perfect precursor to my birthday night of seeing
            Wicked, the musical (which also rocked).

                          One last shot - I couldn't resist.  These guys had absolutely the best costumes

I don't know about you, but I believe in the power of manifesting.  And the wonderful thing I have noticed about Realtors is their innate ability to buy into and energetically support another person's dreams.  So, in that spirit, I am posting my manifestation list for what I want for my birthday for this year.

• A wonderful, intelligent, attractive (to me) man, who is successful in his own right, who is high energy, who loves life and lives passionately, who has FUN!, who is highly spiritual but not religious, who works on himself as hard as he works on his business, and (most importantly) who loves me passionately and tenderly.
• Beginning painting and sculpture classes at Cambridge Adult Education Center
• A great personal trainer to help me drop the extra weight I'm carrying
• Tickets to Mama Mia in Boston at the end of this month
• A new house (the one down by Davis Square that I've already picked out, please)
• Lots of new speaking engagements
• Packed rooms for my breakthrough transformational events (coming soon)
• Lots of excuses to get out of the house and away from the computer
• Continuous learning and growth
• A gaggle of friends to keep me company and have fun with me
• Dancing!!!  And people to go with me.
• Copies of the movies:  The Full Monty, Across the Universe, and Hair.
• Anything else that's fun and exciting that you want to send me, Universe!

Thank you for participating with me in the manifestation event.  You may now return to your regularly scheduled work day.  I'm off to play!!!  Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me... Happy Birthday to me!

Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as  being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry.  Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love.  For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta.