Life Is Like a Box Of Chocolates...

Picking Up On The Details
People are constantly amazed at how much information I can glean from them in a short conversation.  There are thousands of little clues that everyone drops that tell you things about them.  If I'm meeting you in person, it's even easier because I have the physical clues to give me hints as well.  What you're wearing, how you're wearing it, how you stand, the way you present yourself to me - all of these things speak of who you are.     

Being Fully Present In The Moment
Why is it that I can pick up on all of these things when others seem oblivious to them?  Simple - I am not thinking about or paying attention to anything other than you.  I am fully present in the moment with you.  We are in such a hectically paced world that most people's attentions are split about 15 different ways at any given time.  You're worried about your next appointment or reviewing the last one.  You're thinking you're hungry and wondering how long you'll have to talk to this person before you can eat.  Your cell phone is going off repeatedly.  You're wearing a shirt where the tag is scratching at your neck and irritating you.  No matter how big or small, the distractions are there.  

Getting Rid of Distractions
So how do you avoid being distracted?  Simple.  Set an alarm to tell you when it's time to go to the next appointment and then forget about it.  Discipline yourself not to review other appointments when you're on this one.  Cut the tag out of your shirt.  Ask the client to wait a moment and go get a snack from your desk.  And, for heaven's sake, turn off your cell phone when you go into the meeting - don't turn it to vibrate - turn it off.  Even getting a vibrated call breaks the flow of conversation.   

Be Intensely Curious
Then focus entirely on the person in front of you.  Wonder what is going on with them, who they are, what they want out of life.  Wonder how they are feeling, what they are thinking and what is important to them.  When you can get out of your own head and truly want to know the answers to these questions, then those answers begin to present themselves to you in lots of little ways.   

Smile
People can feel it when you truly take an interest in them.  They can feel the energy coming from you.  When you smile, you open yourself up to them as well and they feel safer to share the more intimate details of their hopes and dreams with you.  

Getting Closer
Why should you go to all of this effort?  Well, there are a few reasons.  First, it will help you make more sales and keep more sales together as people get cold feet or encounter obstacles.  Second, you'll find that your interactions with people are more significant and satisfying for you.  And finally, you'll find that your stress levels will be lower. Focusing on only one thing at a time allows you to relax a lot.  We weren't made to be multi-taskers.  Being in the moment provides a sense of peace and balance that you can find nowhere else.    

Resources
Malcolm Gladwell talks about the ability to glean large amounts of information about people in a short timeframe in his book Blink.  It's a great read.   They recently made a movie out of James Redfield's book The Celestine Prophecy.  The movie is pretty good and it's a great reminder about being present and listening to your intuition.    Visit my recommended books bookstore

Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as  being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry.  Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love.  For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta.