I spoke with a friend yesterday. Her mother is moving into an assisted living facility and she is helping her make that transition. One of the things my friend was worried about was helping her mother let go of the house she had lived in for 40 years. So I gave her the hints that I offered up in my book on how to help people move out of houses they've owned for a long time.
Transferring Memories
We talked about taking pictures of all the rooms, Putting paint swatches and wallpaper bits (from the backs of closets and behind refrigerators) into a journal and writing down the memories from each room. Normally, I would suggest that she put together a House Cooling Party where they invite friends and family and have a videographer interview people to get stories about their memories of the house. But they don't have time for that. So instead I suggested that she borrow my conference call line and get her brothers and sisters together on the phone and record the stories of what they remember about the house.
Memories Are Important
And then I thought about my mother and the fact that the only thing she wanted for Christmas this year was a copy of the DVD that she had given me years ago about my life. Evidently her copy had worn out. (I don't think I've even opened mine since the first time I watched it.) And it occured to me that the most precious thing to her was her memories. It makes sense, she doesn't get out much these days.
The Gift Of Memories
So I was thinking that one of the greatest gifts that we could give our parents each year would be to record (in written, video or audio format) our memories for that year. The first year could be a list of the stories from the past that you remember. Then subsequent ones could be about events of that year. It would be a living history of the family. It would be a great gift to our parents who no longer get to participate in our day-to-day life. It would be a great gift to our children later in life as they get to see the evolution of the family during the time when they were too young to appreciate it. And it would be a gift to ourselves as we age, being able to look back and see where we came from.
Knowing Our Ancestors
It's only in recent years that I've begun to understand the importance of knowing where we came from - including stories about ancestors whom we never met. (In fact, I'm writing a book about it.) It is their blood that flows in our veins, we are a part of them whether we knew them or not. How great would it be to give this gift to future generations?
Add a Gift To Your List
Those are my thoughts for this snowy morning in Boston. So if you were thinking that perhaps you didn't give enough as a gift to your parents this year, then perhaps you could add one more thing to your list. Who knows? You might even have fun doing it.
Send Me A Copy
If you do create something like this, I'd love a copy. Make sure to include your name and contact info, so I know where it came from. You can email it to me at info at sparta success dot com. Or you can snail mail it to me at Sparta Success Systems, 233 Needham St., Newton, MA 02464.
Have a happy holiday season. God bless us, everyone.
Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry. Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love. For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2007, Kelle Sparta.
We had the same thing with my father, but he ended up loving the place. I think having some community, meals prepared, social get-togethers and he didn't have to worry about cutting the grass...