Are you successful? No, really, stop and think about it. Are you successful? Do you even know what your definition of being successful is? Is it just about money? Or does it inclode other aspects of your life like health and relationships and time off? I'm making no judgments here, I'm just asking if you know what success looks like to you and if you've attained it.
I used to think that success for me entailed large sums of money and vacations on in Europe and those things would be nice certainly. But I'm realizing that they aren't what's really important to me. The proof, as they say, is in the pudding. Do I save up for trips to Europe? Nope. Haven't saved for that in over eight years. What do I save for? Personal growth workshops and vacations with friends. That's it really. The only reason I have any desire for a larger house is to have bigger parties. In fact, when I'm not throwing parties, my house is the perfect size. (Do they make expandable homes?)
And yet I continue to strive. Some would say that I have the perfect life. My bills are paid for every month, I work when I feel like it (like this morning as I'm typing this), and I get all the time off I could ever need. And even when I was completely incapacitated by the tendonitis over the last few months, I was fine financially, emotionally, and spiritually. And yet, I'm still out there creating something new all the time.
A friend of mine sat me down recently, looked me in the face and said "as long as I've known you, you've been working your ass off trying to be successful. I've got news for you - you're already there - you can stop now. This panicked running has got to stop." And I realized she was right. I am successful. Not by my old definition, but then I've realized that the old definition doesn't really apply anymore. My values have changed. So I'm relaxing a bit.
It seems that my inner child, the one who seeks to be nurtured, taken care of, and most of all to feel safe has been running the show. She's the one who has driven me to work 18 hour days when no one else cared when something got done. She's the one who said there's not enough money in the bank for security. She's the one who said, this isn't working fast enough of effectively enough - we need to do something else. Well, she's 3 years old. What does she know?
So I'm doing a little life rewrite. I am successful - right now - just as I am. And now, I get to do what I want. I'm pretty excited about this actually. I'm letting myself think about what it is that I really want, but I have a pretty good idea of what it is. It involves personal growth and friends (that includes you, BTW). I've started a Meetup group in the Boston area called "The Pursuit of Happiness" and I'm going to be teaching some classes here and possibly online. Don't worry, I'm not abandoning you. I'll still be writing to you and sharing with you and talking about real estate as I've always done. And for fun, I'll be doing this as well.
What I want to ask you though is this: are you successful? How would you know if you had made it? What would you do with yourself once you determined that you were successful? Who would you be if you were successful? Who would you be if you weren't striving to be successful? Are you stopping to smell the roses or do you just smell the sweat of cold panic as you look at your checkbook and pipeline?
What is your definition of success? For me, it's having the time, money and freedom to do as I please. Now I just have to figure out what pleases me. That should be fun!
Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry. Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love. For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2008, Kelle Sparta.
